Without Excuse

July was an interesting month for me. I had a lot on the go. Moving house, the shop refresh (do pop instore and check out the latest look), work, family; to name a few. Suffice to say, the month got ahead of me. Rather, I got ahead of the month! And as those of you who follow these blogs keenly may have noticed, I missed July! I had the title two weeks into the month, but failed to find the time to sit down and write. And though I have reasons to explain my failure. I don’t believe they’re good enough. Because excuses are just that – excuses!

Which brings me to the focus of the July blog. We’re talking about excuses. The Oxford Dictionary defines ‘Excuse” as to “seek to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offence); try to justify it.” Another definition reads “release (someone) from a duty or requirement.” A fault is committed, and an attempt is made to absolve oneself from responsibility by explaining it away as not being due to any wrongdoing or error on your part. But as having been caused by external circumstances beyond your control. Such that you’re not found wanting or to blame in any way.

Now, excuses are sometimes justifiable. That principle is the basis for the legal system, which allows a defendant to raise a counter claim against an assertion made by a plaintiff. To defend himself with a view to either mitigating or entirely abdicating from any blame. And as we have seen through the ages, the defendant prevails when his argument is indeed justifiable. However, excuses take the principle further. A legal argument is based on justifiable and proven facts, which are considered holistically by the adjudicator before arriving at a final decision. Excuses, on the other hand, seek to arrive at the same place but without carrying the associated burden; providing insufficient or inadequate proof and supporting evidence; at times even expecting that one’s word be enough. Excuses are also made in a lighter fashion, such as casually in conversation. Usually as quick responses in the moment. Yet it could be detrimental to a legal case to provide a quick response without taking the time to conduct the necessary investigations to prove the justifiability of the counter argument. Still, some excuses can be banked.

But I’m not talking about justifiable excuses.

We live in a world where unjustifiable excuses have become commonplace. And these are the ones I’m coming after. I believe the basis for this is a victim mentality or mindset, which is defined as “a state of mind in which a person feels as if the world is against them.” Now, this may seem extreme in the current context; but hear me out. In a world where men are increasingly self-righteous (which is the world we live in); men usually believe the world is against them when things don’t go according to their personal views. Men carry strong opinions about everything. And these views define their position on everything. So, anything outside of that is deemed to be a personal attack because what the man believes has actually become who he is. When making excuses, a man seeks to justify his behaviour by positing himself as a victim of circumstances. And this victim mentality is one of the biggest problems in the world today. The reason many negative behaviours and tendencies are on the increase. Men blame the government. They blame the system. They blame the economy. They put it on race and gender. They scream bias. They blame their families. The list goes on. Everyone, except them, is responsible for their situation. Because it’s become so easy to find an excuse. To shift the blame and hide behind another person or the circumstances around you. The presumption being that were it not for all this, you would have performed as you should’ve. But here’s the thing. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll find that you were never going to perform to the required standard anyway. Simply because you already decided not to. The actions that followed simply provide the supporting evidence.

Everything we do, or don’t do, in this life boils down to choices. While the circumstances you face may cause a hindrance or make things harder. My point is this. Even with prevailing adverse circumstances, you can still choose differently. The problem’s that you’re not willing to. And you hide behind lame excuses in an attempt to save face or whatever other reason.

I challenge every person reading this blog (which includes myself); it’s time to live lives void of excuses. We’re tired of being presented with a list of reasons why you didn’t do what you were supposed to. They may provide compelling reasons to explain or contextualise your behaviour, but they’re still not good enough. It’s time to quit hiding behind all these things, because an indelible truth remains; you could have found a way if you really wanted to. As long as you have breath in your lungs. If you pushed harder, fought more, endured longer and so forth. You could have done it. You simply chose not to and gave in early.

This is a hard one. But one we must all face. Because as long as we keep hiding behind excuses, we won’t ever address key issues about ourselves that need to be dealt with in order to grow. Do you procrastinate? Are you slothful? Are you dishonest? Do you exaggerate? Are you a people pleaser? Are you unfaithful? Do you comfort in pity parties? Are you an attention seeker? Behind every cover up is a personal shortcoming that will continue to deepen until the light shines on it. And for some, they’ve been dishing out excuses for so long that they can no longer tell the difference between truth and lie. In fact, the lie has become their truth.

It’s time to man up. Because we’re our only limitation. We’re the ones who decide how far we’re willing to go to get things done. How much time to invest. What to give up. Whom to engage. What to avoid. How to behave. And so on. We have the power and are in complete control. Despite the visible struggles that may come our way to test and frustrate us. These situations still don’t have the final say; no matter how intense or difficult. Only we do. When you say no, then a line is drawn. We must strive to do better. Stirred from within not to miss the mark under any circumstances because that is who we are; by character. We must build the tenacity in our spirits to endure. To go through trials and temptations and not lose ourselves in the process. To push harder despite great pain and suffering. To stretch, bend, break, and yield as may be required by the circumstances. Ensuring that we continually pacify any offences in us by throwing empty excuses (which many see through, anyway). As human beings, we’re able to endure much more than we think we can. To continue believing and trusting despite the odds; to do the right thing when compelling contrary circumstances present themselves; to remain patterned and principled no matter what comes your way; and to function in realms beyond what seems humanly possible.

But this requires understanding and accepting that we’re without excuse. A definitive mindset.

So, what does this mean? You get two blogs for your reading pleasure this month. The outstanding July blog and the August blog that is now due. And a welcome reminder to remain consistent and deliberate in every area of your lives. To quit the excuses. After all. Nobody’s buying them anyway!

Yours in baking, without excuse,

Chi