Hello October! This month, we’re talking about noise. And I’ll start by asking the question: what’s noise? I believe many would answer that it’s a loud or disruptive sound. Whether once off or repeated. That causes a surprise, disturbance, irritation, or frustration. In essence, some sort of unwelcome sound. And while this may be accurate; an important emphasis has been omitted.

The Oxford Dictionary defines sound as “vibrations that travel through the air or another medium and can be heard when they reach a person’s or animal’s ears”. Vibrations being “a person’s emotional state, the atmosphere of a place, or the associations of an object, as communicated to and felt by others”. Understand this. There’s no sound heard on earth that doesn’t carry meaning. Read that again! All sound has meaning. It’s “intended to communicate something that is not directly expressed”. Whether the sound of a man talking, humming in the air, music playing in the park, screaming next door, birds chirping, dogs barking, stomachs growling, rain drops falling; etc. Even the sound of crying. Think about it. There’s happy crying; sad crying; scared crying; confused crying; frustrated crying, and so on. The meaning’s not in the doing itself, but in the message communicated by the doing. I’m crying because I’ve given up. I’m crying because I’m angry. And so on. And while the sound may be loud, being “with a great deal of volume”; it’s still communicating something. Because it still carries meaning. So, noise can’t just be the occurrence of a loud sound. It can only truly be noise when that loud sound is heard in its volume, and you – the individual – don’t understand its meaning. So, all you receive is the volume. Which would mean that even the softest sound can be noisy. Simply because noise is determined by something else.

Let’s unpack this further.

The Oxford Dictionary defines noise as “a sound, especially one that is loud or unpleasant or that causes disturbance”. Disturbance is defined as “the interruption of a settled and peaceful condition”.  Put differently, disturbance is “a state in which normal mental and physical functioning is disrupted”.

The starting point is to understand that everything, living and non-living, speaks. Because for sound to carry meaning, it must have a voice. Thus, everything (living and non-living) must have a voice. Every creature – which means everything created by God and man; has a voice. You heard me right. All of it! Interestingly, voice is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “the sound produced in a person’s larynx and uttered through the mouth, as speech or song”, thereby limiting its application only to human beings. Kind of how the definition of sound limits hearing only to human beings and animals. Now, in a third dimensional world, which is where most live; this may be true. Because that’s the reality. But since higher realms do exist, with differing vantage points of sight and hearing, and consequently other realities, these definitions can be challenged. But that’s not for today. However, it doesn’t stop there. Not everything that speaks produces a sound. That is, not every voice produces a sound. It’s possible to speak but not say anything of value. Because meaning is in the sound and not the voice. While you can’t have a sound without a voice; you can have a voice without a sound. It turns on the nature of vibrations produced; with the vibrations produced by voices differing from the vibrations produced by sound.

Now. Follow me keenly.

Whether you believe it or not: the birds in the air, trees in the field, cars on the streets, dogs in their gardens, and so on; all speak. Even the chair you’re seated on; the house you live in; and the shoes you wear. I could go on. The assumption that the rest of creation doesn’t speak because they don’t have voices according to the prevailing third dimensional definitions is incorrect. Man isn’t the only one speaking on earth. Every creature has a voice. And produces vibrations based off that. Because all creation has a language. This means that in paying attention to what is said by human beings only, and heard by human beings and animals only, the greater part of creation (living and non-living) that’s also speaking and hearing on a daily basis isn’t heard by man. And as a result, so much is missed by man every day. And how do I know this? Because every day, many are hearing from all creatures what the majority are completely oblivious to. And that’s the truth.

But back to the current discussion. As mentioned above, noise occurs when sound causes a disturbance. Either because it’s loud or annoying or for whatever other reason. Which means that sound which doesn’t cause a disturbance isn’t noise. Even if it’s loud. The issue being the disturbance caused by the sound and not the existence of the sound itself. Seems obvious. But I’m going somewhere. If you catch the meaning associated with a sound, even if it’s loud; that sound isn’t noise to you. It may be loud. But it’s not noise. However, if all you hear is the volume of the sound, without picking the meaning; then it’ll be noise to you. Even if it wasn’t very loud. Thus, the problem isn’t the bang that caused you to fall off your chair; or the dog barking incessantly next door and disturbing your peaceful rest; or the screeching tyres on the street that could pop your ear drums; or the loud cackle of a person roaring with laughter in the cinema. The problem’s that you don’t understand what’s being communicated by these sounds. As a result, you’re confused. That is, with “uncertainty about what is happening, intended or required”. In “a state of being bewildered or unclear in one’s mind about something”. So, you write it off as noise.

Let’s go deeper.

Wikipedia defines noise as “unwanted sound considered unpleasant, loud, or disruptive to hearing. From a physics standpoint, there is no distinction between noise and desired sound, as both are vibrations through a medium, such as air or water. The difference arises when the brain receives and perceives a sound”. This definition draws a distinction between noise and sound based on what the brain is able to receive and perceive as sound. If no sound is received in the brain, it’s noise. But if a sound can be processed by the brain, it isn’t noise.

And that’s the point!

Every sound carries meaning. While some meanings may be insignificant, the sounds are still communicating something. The problem’s that when the meanings communicated are not heard, it may be concluded that the sound is noise. Because it’s not understood the way it should be. And get this. If several sounds emitted in the same place are not understood, they collectively produce an even greater noise. Meanings may be communicated by the individual voices, through the different vibrations emitted; but the hearers are unable to pick them. In the same vein, several voices in the same place that don’t sound will collectively produce an even greater noise. Because they carry no distinction or signification amongst them; the same vibrations are heard from all of the voices. Imagine a room filled with people talking at the same time. The reason it can produce noise isn’t because they’re talking over each other. Rather, it’s because no meaning is communicated by the individual voices. So, they collectively produce an even greater noise.

As human beings, while each of us voices every day, not all of us sound. That is, for some; what’s communicated doesn’t carry any weight or significance in any realm or dimension. It isn’t of any value; often because what’s said is exactly what everyone else is saying. So, it’s boring, predictable, and common. Nothing spoken excites or moves one in any particular direction or carries the potential or power to define anything big. The voice being just one of the masses. However, those who sound communicate meanings; and what’s communicated can be enough to change the whole world and define the direction tomorrow will take. Impacting many and lasting through generations. Because it’s distinct, unique, and set apart. The man may be speaking amidst a myriad of voices. But his voice is heard and understood different to the rest; simply because a unique sound reverberates through the atmosphere from his vibrations, causing all creation to pause and listen to him.

Now, if you’ve understood me to this point, well done! Then, I believe two things are needful.

Firstly. You must ensure that you not only voice, but that your voice carries a sound that communicates a clear and distinct meaning to all creation. Such that when you speak, you’re uniquely heard and understood; causing all creatures to respond to you. You must define your sound and resist the comforts that come with being a voice amongst the masses. Which means your voice will be located in the noise. Nothing personal will translate from your vibrations. However, this will require that you take the time to carve out your individual space. And this is a process. One that requires using your voice with wisdom. But that’s a whole other discussion.

Secondly. You must learn to pick meaning from the sounds emitted by all creatures around you. Because if you don’t, you may miss something important. The next big idea. The solution to that mountain you’ve been circling for many years. The cure for cancer. Guidance on the life changing decision you’re about to make. The wisdom you need for your next level. And so on. You could literally be derailed or thrown off course simply because you disregarded and discounted as noise what was a clear instruction for you. And unfortunately turned left when you should’ve turned right. How many have lost so much (time; key relationships; answers; and even their lives, etc.) simply because they didn’t receive the sounds sent to instruct them at the time they should’ve! And we could literally pause here and go even deeper…

But moving along. We live in a world of many voices. Some of which carry distinct sounds. And every day, learned men, who are attuned and trained to hear and separate sound from noise are picking meaning all around and defining many things. New inventions and innovations. Exploring new realms. Breaking barriers. Unlocking wealth. Changing policy direction. Influencing the development of law. Shifting political and economic agendas. Commanding nations. Challenging philosophies and ideologies. And so on.

Tsim & Bibi should sound. You should sound. And I should sound. But what’s spoken? This blog is my attempt at explaining this thought in its simplicity. But don’t be deceived. This isn’t a simple conversation. And I’ve said many things. But if you can remember one thing. Let it be that what’s noise to you may literally be music to another. Wake up!

Yours in baking,

Chi

My Pastor recently provoked a conversation deep within me when he spoke words so profound. At least to me! That we should not stake our destinies on our job descriptions. What a thought!

Just so we’re on the same page. Destiny refers to where you’re going and will land up on this journey called life. The Oxford Dictionary defines it as “the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future”. The presupposition being that tomorrow depends on what you’re doing today. I think we’re agreed on that, in principle. But, he was saying something deeper. That we should not allow our jobs to define our destinies, as we chart our respective courses into this future. Simply because a job is just that – a job. Oxford defines it as “a paid position of regular employment” or “a task or piece of work, especially one that is paid”. Why? Because attached to any job is a job description. And these job descriptions are limited. Being “formal accounts of an employees’ responsibilities”, only setting out the list of tasks that the employee is responsible for and will be remunerated against in the context of his role. Yet, there’s so much more to man than his job description. How much more, you ask? And that’s the point. Except we elevate our vision to see ourselves beyond our job descriptions, we may never fully express or walk in our best selves. And discover how much more there is in us.

And don’t be fooled. This isn’t an easy one, friends. Jobs represent a significant part of our lives. The work/life dynamic is hugely inter-mingled. Man must make a living, and jobs provide an important avenue to that end. Hence, drawing this line requires a deliberate process of sifting out.

No doubt, I had to unpack it more deeply this month.

As mentioned above, the purpose of a job description is to detail job functions, together with the skills, knowledge and expertise required in order to perform in the relevant role. In essence, job descriptions set out the roles and responsibilities of an employee; being “the function assumed, or part played, by a person or thing in a particular situation.” That is, the tasks that he or she is responsible for in the context of the broader agenda. We know all too well that without clear job descriptions, job ambiguity may arise and ultimately lead to confusion. Because absent of clear divisions and distinctions between the start and end of employee responsibilities, employees may over-step or under-perform, causing frustration, anxiety, and dysfunction (to name a few). Thus, avoiding this by setting clear lines of function is fundamental to any effective organisation.

Last year, we discussed the importance of finding purpose in one’s life, being the unique mandate (assignment) for which one was born. That is, your reason for being; premised on the understanding that God has assigned each of us a specific commission on earth that only you can fulfil. Mandate is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “an official order or commission to do something”. So, there’s a definitive and clear assignment by God for every person, and it’s your responsibility to actively search it out and connect to it; thereby aligning with God’s vision for your life. Why? Because the purpose of a thing is defined by the creator. Not the other way around. And as we discussed, some find their mandate; but many don’t! Then, what tends to happen is that the job becomes the mandate. In aligning with the vision associated with the responsibilities attaching to the role, many inadvertently believe that this is the mandate. And end the search there.

But this is the caution. That we shouldn’t define our lives by, and limit our purpose to, our job descriptions. Because we’re so much more than any man could ever pay us to do! That inside each of us are infinite possibilities connected to the power of God on our lives, that shouldn’t be compromised or undermined for the sake of a job. Because there’s an order to this thing. The mandate always precedes the job. It never follows it. Man is assigned (and given purpose) even before he has a job. Which means that the man must already know what this purpose is before starting any job. And also understand how the job feeds into this bigger picture. Yet, we see the reverse in the world today. Men get jobs; then make those jobs the mandate – by default. And believe they’ve found purpose. Sometimes, it’s out of ignorance. They believe that the job is the mandate, because they haven’t taken the time to seek God’s mind on the matter and understand what His plans for their lives are. Other times, it’s because they’ve failed to connect with God’s vision for their lives. That is, they’ve sought God on the matter, but failed to arrive at a place of true vision. Simply because some aspect of their lives is not consecrated as it should be and keeps them disconnected from the place of perfect sight. And so, they settle into the job under the guise that God sent them there. And other times, they’re just indifferent. Unaware that there’s more to life than meets the eye. And more to purpose than the word on the streets. Unbothered to search out purpose. Satisfied by the benefits that accompany the job – status, power, wealth, and so on. And for some, they simply don’t believe in God. So, with God out of the equation, purpose starts with them. And this can be the job or any other thing they define for themselves.

But here’s the conundrum. A job is a limited set of responsibilities that have been designed by another to meet certain requirements of an organisation. They feed from only a limited part of the man, in the context of the role; without regard to everything else in the person – the potential, possibilities, passion, and so forth. Emphasis is placed only on the job requirements. And the person is recognised and remunerated for satisfactorily achieving just that. Furthermore, promotion and increase are only defined in the context of the job. Thus, a whole life is summed up by a job. And the man walks a predictable and ordinary path in the fulfilment of that destiny. Simply because that’s what the system, and its qualifications, produces. Yet the man remains disconnected from his truest self.

I think we’d all agree. Job creation is one of the fundamental building blocks of any society. In order for a nation to thrive, it should create jobs and provide employment opportunities to all. Everyone who desires to work should be able to enter the job market with ease. This prospers the nation and also prospers the man; by contributing to the overall good while creating wealth. This in turn spurs economic activity, through trade, developments and so on. Moreover, jobs instill numerous invaluable qualities in man; like hard work, problem solving, diligence, commitment, excellence, and so on. It’s a wonderful story.

Yet, man is still more than his job description!

I put it to you that inside each of us is a unique seed that positions each of us in places only you can occupy. Bringing us to the place of perfect alignment with who we are in God. Get a job. And do your part. But also find your purpose. Discover that sleeping giant within and allow this person to be fully expressed on earth. Otherwise without this, you won’t truly be satisfied and content. Because though you may be doing everything that’s required by the job, and excelling at it; the bigger part of you – that part which defines who you are and your destiny on earth, becomes frustrated potential. And you carry a deep knowing that there’s more to you. Yet an inability to draw it out. Being fulfilled in the job, but dis-satisfied in life. Deeply yearning for more.

Here’s the thing about finding your mandate. It’ll separate you and set you apart. Distinguishing your voice from the noise. And putting a mark on your life that’s distinct and unique. But this can’t happen in the noise. You must walk a path less travelled; and carry the boldness and confidence to draw lines around the vision of God for your life. Otherwise, you’ll be swallowed by the rest. Each convinced that they know and understand the keys to finding purpose; and that they’re walking in it. Yet they couldn’t be farther from the vision of God for their lives. Blinded by the benefits and associations that come with the fulfilment of a job. Because the job is not the mandate. It can be, or it could be a part of it. But in most cases, the mandate is something else. And sadly, many have already missed it.

What’s my point? Never allow any man to limit who you are and what you can achieve. That includes you. And also includes your boss. You’re so much more than the list of responsibilities and qualifications assigned to you. Even if you didn’t have a job, there remains a seed within you that has the ability to change the whole world if you just tapped into it and drew it out. Connect to that seed. Because that’s who you are and the destiny that was designed for you from even before you were in your mother’s womb. And whether you do this or not, the day will come when you will discover just how big you could’ve been and how much you could’ve done; had you connected to this thing.

But you settled on your job description!

Yours in baking,

Chi

It’s the eighth month of the year. Which means we’ve only a quarter to go until the air fills with ‘The Sound of Christmas’. I mean, I can already see red and green! As you know, this is the second blog of the month. Giving us the blessed opportunity to gather around ‘The Cake Table’ yet again for another exciting conversation. As I say often; we’re living in a time when except you take the time to deeply understand the world of men and the ways of men, and deliberately carve out who you’ll be within this narrative, with a conviction that will sustain you through the ages, you may be consumed by the many competing voices and end up looking like everyone else. Thinking, talking, and acting like they do. In a predictable and ordinary fashion; without distinction.

Which brings me to the topic for this month’s blog. ‘Copycat’ is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as “denoting an action, typically a crime, carried out in imitation of another”. So, to better understand the idea, we must unpack the definition of “imitation”. This is defined as “the action of using someone or something as a model”. Alternatively, “a thing intended to simulate or copy something else”. The verb is described as to “take or follow as a model” or to “copy or simulate”. I think you get the drift. A copycat is someone who draws behaviours, actions, speech or whatever else from another, with the object of presenting himself like that person. The aim being to at least achieve the same results enjoyed by that person; which are regarded as being associated with that conduct. Essentially, modelling oneself on another person.

I don’t know about you. But growing up in Zimbabwe, copycat was an offensive word; used to tease, belittle, degrade, undermine, or insult. The suggestion being that you were less of a person for trying to emulate another. I guess, in some way, from an early age, we carried the appreciation that every individual is born unique. That we should each embrace our unique selves and grow into the best versions of that person. That we should quit trying to be like anyone else because we were each made differently. And that our individual purpose here on earth is hid in connecting with the unique self and living from that realm. If you ask me, I believe that we were all born with the inherent knowledge of purpose and divine assignment; just without the understanding to express it fully except we deliberately draw it out from within. But that’s not for today.

However, this narrative missed something I only discovered in my later years of life. That being a copycat is not always a bad thing. That sometimes, it’s exactly what you need to grow; certain imitations being needful to progress to your next level. The idea being that if you can identify something that is already working and evident in another person’s life, simply copy it. But then, you may ask; how do you copy another person and still become your best self? Let me explain.

The question to answer is, ‘what are you copying?’ And to what end?

If you’re copying from a place of insecurity or inadequacy because you feel less of a person in your own world; something’s off. If you’re copying to hide behind a lack of self-confidence or the necessary drive or ambition; you have a problem. If you’re copying in the hope of convincing your audience that you operate at the same level when you actually don’t; you’re only deceiving yourself. And, if you’re copying someone who’s on a destructive path, albeit that things may look like they’re working right now; you’re simply headed for disaster too. It’s just a matter of time. I could go on. Whichever case, you may succeed in fooling those around you by these imitations; but only for a short while. Eventually, the results speak for themself. Please understand this. Every person has their level, by right and rank. They’ve attained a particular status based on the seeds sown to get there. It’s no accident that someone may be ahead of you and another behind you. Because we’re all on a journey. Moving at our individual paces depending on how much we’re able to draw out. But if you see a person that has made it to a certain level, they did something right to get there. No matter how many wrong things they are doing. There’s still something that qualified them for that level. And, if you’re trying to attain the same level but without sowing the requisite seeds; to get the prize without doing the necessary work; we can’t support that kind of copying.

However, positive imitations do exist. But there’s an order to them. Firstly, you must already know your individual purpose on earth, or at least be on a journey to fully unveiling it. Who God called you to be, and the uniqueness that He has deposited in you for that course. Understanding that there are spaces on this earth that only your voice can fill; being where you will be most functional and operate in divine assignment. Secondly, you must identify people that have found their unique purpose and are living it; whom you believe you can learn from in the context of your own journey. These people could be your peers; colleagues; businessmen; thought leaders; ministers; politicians, etc. You can find them in any space or shape. But they must be people who know who they are; are not confused or apologetic about it; know where they’re going (and can articulate this clearly); and whose broader vision agrees with the vision that you carry in your heart for your own life. More importantly, they must bear the fruit (results) of their labour, and be in a position to teach and impart lessons that you can draw from. Then, yours is clear. To simply copy or imitate them as they walk in the fulfilment of their unique assignments. Following after them, and the patterns and principles they define.

I believe that this is absolutely necessary to grow in certain areas or dimensions. Because there are some learnings that can only come from those around you. Things that you will only learn from other people who have already walked the journey successfully. You would be proud to ignore these examples and seek to figure it out by yourself. After all, we live in a world of give and take. Which means, if you are taking from one person in certain respects, it’s likely that you’re giving to someone else in other respects. So, just as you may be drawing from your imitations of another to carve out your unique space, another may be drawing from their imitations of you to carve out their unique space. And so, the circle of life goes! This give and take is healthy and is also a sign of wisdom and maturity. To model yourself around positive role models.

However, it’s important that these imitations not be carnal. What do I mean? You may draw certain physical expressions from the person, like mannerisms, speech, dress, etc. After all, when you study a person deeply and follow him consistently; it’s not surprising that you may start to look, and sound like him. But it cuts deeper. You draw from the spirit of the man, in an effort to receive in your own spirit. Such that it’s embedded within. Otherwise, you’ve only touched the surface. Because it’s not about how you walk or talk or act. It’s about the well that you’re drawing from in order to walk or talk or act in that way. An experience within. Not merely an expression without.

Unfortunately, the world today is inundated with copycats who are not pursuing any defined purpose or goal; but the wealth, success, and prosperity on another. And so, doing what that person does; going where the person goes; dressing like the person does; and speaking like the person; believing that success lies is in imitating him or her. As a result, the world is producing armies of men and women who all look the same. But because they don’t know who they are at the core, most are dissatisfied and overwhelmed by feelings of emptiness. Simply because they’re living someone else’s life and they know it at the core (remember what I said above about the inherent knowledge that we’re born with). Something’s missing; but they can’t put their finger on it. They’re moving and shaking, but not really getting anywhere that satisfies them. Coming and going; but without any real purpose. Attaining, amassing, increasing, etc; but everyday drawing further and further away from their truest selves.

I’m a ‘copycat’. And I’ll admit it any day. I’ve identified people to emulate because they consistently display the characteristics I believe I need to grow to my next level. I study these individuals deeply, just as I study the principles and patterns they display. And I follow after them keenly. They’ve defined certain principles and patterns of success for me. And I’m confident that if I continue to sow the necessary seeds, I’ll achieve my own goals. Because it’s embedded in a formula. And I’ve locked into it.

If you recall my previous blogs on Purpose and Family, it’s not possible to compete when you walk with this mind. Because no matter how similar our individual journeys may be, they’re still distinctly unique and embedded in a divine purpose that only you can fulfil. Because of that, it’s easy to do you, unapologetically.

Yours in baking,

Chi

July was an interesting month for me. I had a lot on the go. Moving house, the shop refresh (do pop instore and check out the latest look), work, family; to name a few. Suffice to say, the month got ahead of me. Rather, I got ahead of the month! And as those of you who follow these blogs keenly may have noticed, I missed July! I had the title two weeks into the month, but failed to find the time to sit down and write. And though I have reasons to explain my failure. I don’t believe they’re good enough. Because excuses are just that – excuses!

Which brings me to the focus of the July blog. We’re talking about excuses. The Oxford Dictionary defines ‘Excuse” as to “seek to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offence); try to justify it.” Another definition reads “release (someone) from a duty or requirement.” A fault is committed, and an attempt is made to absolve oneself from responsibility by explaining it away as not being due to any wrongdoing or error on your part. But as having been caused by external circumstances beyond your control. Such that you’re not found wanting or to blame in any way.

Now, excuses are sometimes justifiable. That principle is the basis for the legal system, which allows a defendant to raise a counter claim against an assertion made by a plaintiff. To defend himself with a view to either mitigating or entirely abdicating from any blame. And as we have seen through the ages, the defendant prevails when his argument is indeed justifiable. However, excuses take the principle further. A legal argument is based on justifiable and proven facts, which are considered holistically by the adjudicator before arriving at a final decision. Excuses, on the other hand, seek to arrive at the same place but without carrying the associated burden; providing insufficient or inadequate proof and supporting evidence; at times even expecting that one’s word be enough. Excuses are also made in a lighter fashion, such as casually in conversation. Usually as quick responses in the moment. Yet it could be detrimental to a legal case to provide a quick response without taking the time to conduct the necessary investigations to prove the justifiability of the counter argument. Still, some excuses can be banked.

But I’m not talking about justifiable excuses.

We live in a world where unjustifiable excuses have become commonplace. And these are the ones I’m coming after. I believe the basis for this is a victim mentality or mindset, which is defined as “a state of mind in which a person feels as if the world is against them.” Now, this may seem extreme in the current context; but hear me out. In a world where men are increasingly self-righteous (which is the world we live in); men usually believe the world is against them when things don’t go according to their personal views. Men carry strong opinions about everything. And these views define their position on everything. So, anything outside of that is deemed to be a personal attack because what the man believes has actually become who he is. When making excuses, a man seeks to justify his behaviour by positing himself as a victim of circumstances. And this victim mentality is one of the biggest problems in the world today. The reason many negative behaviours and tendencies are on the increase. Men blame the government. They blame the system. They blame the economy. They put it on race and gender. They scream bias. They blame their families. The list goes on. Everyone, except them, is responsible for their situation. Because it’s become so easy to find an excuse. To shift the blame and hide behind another person or the circumstances around you. The presumption being that were it not for all this, you would have performed as you should’ve. But here’s the thing. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll find that you were never going to perform to the required standard anyway. Simply because you already decided not to. The actions that followed simply provide the supporting evidence.

Everything we do, or don’t do, in this life boils down to choices. While the circumstances you face may cause a hindrance or make things harder. My point is this. Even with prevailing adverse circumstances, you can still choose differently. The problem’s that you’re not willing to. And you hide behind lame excuses in an attempt to save face or whatever other reason.

I challenge every person reading this blog (which includes myself); it’s time to live lives void of excuses. We’re tired of being presented with a list of reasons why you didn’t do what you were supposed to. They may provide compelling reasons to explain or contextualise your behaviour, but they’re still not good enough. It’s time to quit hiding behind all these things, because an indelible truth remains; you could have found a way if you really wanted to. As long as you have breath in your lungs. If you pushed harder, fought more, endured longer and so forth. You could have done it. You simply chose not to and gave in early.

This is a hard one. But one we must all face. Because as long as we keep hiding behind excuses, we won’t ever address key issues about ourselves that need to be dealt with in order to grow. Do you procrastinate? Are you slothful? Are you dishonest? Do you exaggerate? Are you a people pleaser? Are you unfaithful? Do you comfort in pity parties? Are you an attention seeker? Behind every cover up is a personal shortcoming that will continue to deepen until the light shines on it. And for some, they’ve been dishing out excuses for so long that they can no longer tell the difference between truth and lie. In fact, the lie has become their truth.

It’s time to man up. Because we’re our only limitation. We’re the ones who decide how far we’re willing to go to get things done. How much time to invest. What to give up. Whom to engage. What to avoid. How to behave. And so on. We have the power and are in complete control. Despite the visible struggles that may come our way to test and frustrate us. These situations still don’t have the final say; no matter how intense or difficult. Only we do. When you say no, then a line is drawn. We must strive to do better. Stirred from within not to miss the mark under any circumstances because that is who we are; by character. We must build the tenacity in our spirits to endure. To go through trials and temptations and not lose ourselves in the process. To push harder despite great pain and suffering. To stretch, bend, break, and yield as may be required by the circumstances. Ensuring that we continually pacify any offences in us by throwing empty excuses (which many see through, anyway). As human beings, we’re able to endure much more than we think we can. To continue believing and trusting despite the odds; to do the right thing when compelling contrary circumstances present themselves; to remain patterned and principled no matter what comes your way; and to function in realms beyond what seems humanly possible.

But this requires understanding and accepting that we’re without excuse. A definitive mindset.

So, what does this mean? You get two blogs for your reading pleasure this month. The outstanding July blog and the August blog that is now due. And a welcome reminder to remain consistent and deliberate in every area of your lives. To quit the excuses. After all. Nobody’s buying them anyway!

Yours in baking, without excuse,

Chi

Can you believe we’re already in May! Nearly halfway through 2023. Which, incidentally, is my birthday month. And the 23^rd month since Tsim & Bibi commenced operations at Morning Glen Shopping Centre! Meaning that Tsim & Bibi celebrates its second anniversary in June, just as I celebrate another rotation around the sun this month. And in the spirit of the new seasons upon us, I’m switching up the conversation; going in deeper with the aim of provoking some kind of reset or repositioning in each of us. Because we’re out of time. Literally. The world is evolving at an alarming rate. The language of the world is changing. Behaviours are shifting. Conversations are taking different directions. Technologies and innovations are challenging many sectors. And new patterns are emerging all about. All of which are pushing men into spaces not transcended before. And if we’re not careful, we’ll be overtaken.

Which brings me to the topic for this month: The First Person. Now, we all know what this term refers to. In fact, a study of storytelling in the context of the English Language shows that three persons (or protagonists) exist grammatically. Being The First Person, The Second Person, and The Third Person. And that The First Person refers to the self. “I”. Now, I will not attempt to delve into a deeper study of the English context, except to use this reference to elucidate and emphasise the points I seek to make in the remainder of this blog. In discussing the impact of a focus on the self on society as a whole. That is, what emphasising the individualistic perspective is doing to the broader narrative.

So, let’s get into it. We live in a world where the loudest voices, being the ones that appear to be directing things, are mostly found amongst the collective. That is, within the masses. With the collective voice being the popular voice that represents a sort of unification of the people concerned. Let me unpack this further. There’s a language in the world that seems to suggest that individuals are united when they collectively gather around certain things. And that this alignment makes them one or singular in purpose and focus. For instance, petitions are circulated on various issues, and many are signing up in support of the proposed initiatives. Various interest groups are marching every other day against defined behaviours, and they seem to be agreed on the process and outcome. Board meetings are convened across the globe around the success of agreed corporate strategies with an apparent alignment. Students in various educational spaces are leading interest groups aimed at facilitating important debates surrounding key issues. And churches are filled with men and women who appear to be praying to the same God with the same objective, with a tangible fervour and intensity. I could go on. What we see is a perceived alignment across the masses based on the collective voices that have emerged through the collective thought and behaviours. Yet, I believe, this could not be farther from the truth. Now, follow me keenly.

There’s an inherent deception in this corporate language and voice. Because while it seems to be co-ordinated and unified; in reality, it’s a mask for divisions that are deeply entrenched and growing day-by-day with increasingly devasting consequences. If not for this generation, certainly for the ones to come. And while my intention isn’t to generalise and whitewash all such activities and behaviours, it’s important to take a closer look at what is happening beneath all of these activities.

Take South Africa, by way of example. The concept of ‘Ubuntu’ was coined in this land, and essentially means “I am, because we are”. Symbolic of a sense of humanity towards each other. Embodying elements of unity, equality, inclusion, acceptance and so on. All of what this nation must see in the aftermath of the devastating apartheid era; which separated, discriminated against, and split the people in all kinds of direction. And we commend it. In fact, this was a big part of the work of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which sought to bring about restitution for all South Africans in the spirit of community. An ‘ubuntu justice’, of sorts. But if we carry out an honest assessment of the progress that has been made in the country since then, we see the language, and even the forms, of unification; yet there remain deep divisions that continues to widen at the root, albeit masked by the activities happening all about.

For instance, racism remains a deep issue in South Africa. In addition, the ills of apartheid continue to be blamed for the systemic corruption South Africa’s struggling to resolve. And I can go on. The educational system still appears to be imbalanced when judged across many factors. Traditional forms of worship and ancestral altars continue to define the nation at its core. Healthcare remains inaccessible for all. And South Africa has one of the highest unemployment rates on the continent, yet it’s amongst the third richest of them. As we speak, South Africa is in an extreme battle for service delivery. So, leading to 1994, South Africans marched and fought their way out of the debilitating apartheid regime, attaining necessary freedoms for all people; as concretised under the Constitution – the founding document for the Republic. Yet in 2023, South Africans continue to march and fight to enjoy those same freedoms, albeit at different levels. So, we must ask the pertinent question: where are we missing it?

I believe that in attaining freedom for the collective, the world has fallen captive to The First Person. Essentially shifting from one extreme to the other. From no recognition of The First Person to an over-recognition of The First Person. Such that the individual voice has begun to carry a weight and have a bearing to the disadvantage of the collective position. Because it’s one thing to ensure that all men are free. But completely another to land up in a situation where, in the exercise of their individual freedoms, men begin to embed a disunity in society that will be hard, if not impossible, to eradicate the more these individual freedoms are emphasised. And this is a hard conversation. Not one we would hold easily. Because we’ve come from so far. The thought of going back is inconceivable.

But surely, a line must be drawn somewhere? Yet the moment we speak of drawing lines, it follows that certain individuals will be subordinated to others. And that feels wrong on the surface. But the more we permit the system to allow individuals to define the boundaries of life for themselves, the more society stretches into spaces that embed more division and disunity amongst all.

Today, we live in a world with every kind of “ism” possible. And the number keeps growing by the day. For instance, Feminism, Racism, Sexism, Atheism, Humanism, Modernism, Naturalism, Equalitarianism, Transsexualism, Expressionism, Narcissism, Postmodernism, Evangelism, Agnosticism, Consumerism, Colonialism, Astigmatism, Transvestism, and Unionism. The list is endless. Everyone has their individual point of view concerning everything, and is exercising their respective freedoms to that end. Everyone believes they’re (or rather, they should be) free enough to express themselves in that manner, irrespective of the consequences on the broader society. Individualism, defined as “the habit or principle of being independent and self-reliant”, is the mother of all “isms”. Because of a focus on The First Person, everyone is increasingly self-reliant. And this is all we hear and see. But don’t be deceived. They may march together or gather together or appear to be aligned in one way or another. But they’re not in agreement. It’s about convenience. They may be agreed in relation to that one issue, but the moment you take it off the table, you’re left with many different voices pulling in different directions. And each unwilling to submit to or yield in favour of the others. The First Person rules. And no one is willing to compromise for any voice that goes against it, arguing that this would undermine the very freedoms that our forefathers fought so hard to attain for us.

And you don’t yet think this world is in trouble? The voice of The First Person is only getting louder and becoming more prevalent. And these voices are speaking above each other; it’s hard to make sense of it all!

The Oxford Dictionary defines “Confusion” as “uncertainty about what is happening, intended or required”. Now, I learnt something profound recently. That ‘Babylon’, which means confusion, actually refers to a specific type of confusion when unpacked in its Hebrew rendering. Being a confused noise made by a number of voices. That is, the composite of a voice that is confusing because it has many voices speaking in it. And so, confusion arises from the collection of different voices in the same place; with each voice carrying a distinct meaning. But with so many voices speaking, and without everyone connecting to or understanding what each individual voice is saying, it’s only producing a noise. Because there’s no alignment around the meaning of the individual voices. They’re heard but aren’t understood. And they’re competing against each other.

So, if all we’re left with is noise, how will the individual define a meaningful space for himself? And with everyone pulling and pushing against each other, how can we make meaningful progress as a community? And deal effectively with education, healthcare, spiritual growth, employment, service delivery, and the like critical issues that the world’s facing today? We’ll circle the same space over and over because no one can make sense of and build from that place.

I would argue that society has become captive to the individual freedoms that it fought so hard to secure. And except a distinct voice emerges with the ability of levelling the playing field by defining and enforcing clear boundaries for everyone, the situation will only worsen. The rights of The First Person must be balanced against the common good. Because as long as we’re each defining our own boundaries, then we’re each building our own nations. What am I saying? You can’t fight for Ubuntu when you’re still fighting for yourself. There must be a compromise somewhere. We can speak the great story and paint pretty pictures forever and a day. But without addressing the emphasis that is placed on The First Person, the conversation is useless!

It’s time to re-evaluate the world we’re creating. And to become more considerate in the exercise of our individual rights and freedoms. I am by no means suggesting that we must agree on everything. But we must come to a place where we’re at peace with each other. Simply because of the weight of protecting the collective position. Which will require certain times that we hold our peace when we could speak; and bend and break a little for the common good. If we’re to truly arrive at a place of unity, then we must deliberately carve out a place that embodies a unified position for all. Remembering that unity is not the same as freedom. Freedom is defined as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants”. And we each have that. But unity is defined as “the state of being united or joined as a whole”. And this is still lacking across the world. We won’t achieve unity unless our language and speech become singular. Where a single voice bearing a single meaning emerges from the collective and is understood and agreed by all. When we start talking to each other and not across each other. If unity is what we’re ultimately after, then we must reposition ourselves for it. Because we’ve lost that story in the quest for individuality.

All hail, The First Person!

Yours in baking,

Chi

I started a conversation last month, titled ‘Balance’. And it’s impressed upon me to finish that thought line in this month’s blog. The discussion ended with a parting thought. That balance and priorities are not one and the same thing. I think we’re all agreed on that, right. Yet, the completion of being balanced can really only be fully understood in the context of one’s priorities. That is, in the art of establishing priorities without causing an imbalance in the person. And this is what we’ll focus on this month.

Circling back to one of my favourite books, the Oxford Dictionary, priorities are defined as things that “are regarded or treated as more important than others”. Now, this differs from favourites, which are defined as “preferred to all others of the same kind”. And it’s important to draw this distinction from the onset. Priorities emerge when one is faced with a number of differing and/or competing factors or elements, amongst which preferential choices are required. Choosing between family, work, exercise, solitude, and entertainment, to name a few. While favourites refer to things that are preferred amongst a range of many of the same kind. For instance, a favourite cake; Marvel movie; football team, and so on. We’re talking about priorities here. And if you recall last month’s blog, the idea being that balance occurs when the differing and/or competing factors and elements are appropriately weighted against each other such that the person stands whole and upright in the face of managing them all. So this month, we’re introducing the element of prioritisations amongst these balancing items. Understanding that establishing a list of priorities immediately takes one out of the realm of balance, and introduces another dimension. That of remaining balanced whilst appropriately managing one’s priorities. I hope you’re still with me.

Let’s unpack this. A lack of separation of these distinct thoughts oftentimes leads to a confusion. What do I mean? Priorities are usually wrongly measured relative to the time invested by the person; it being said that the areas where the person spends the most time are the person’s priorities. Then, the person’s behaviour is judged against that, and it’s said he or she is imbalanced when they spend more time on matters that are regarded as inferior to what should be pursued as superior ones. Priorities are also wrongly defined in the context of favourites; it being argued that the person prioritises his or her favourites. And while favourites have their place, the two are still not the same and should be understood distinctly.

In last month’s blog, we discussed how balance is often considered relative to the following areas – Emotional; Physical; Spiritual and Intellectual. And how within these respective areas exist many sub-categories. For instance, under Emotional you can find mental, social (community activities and the like), hobbies, and relational (family; friends; colleagues etc). Physical aspects include exercise, health, financial, entertainment, rest, and the like. Spiritual sub-categories include faith, religion, and various forms of meditation. And lastly, work, study, and continuous development are typically found on the Intellectual side of things. So, with such a basket of differing and/or competing elements and factors, it’s important to draw a line clearly defining one’s priorities. Indicating which items carry a greater significance than others, not from the perspective of being favourites, but from the view of being more important. Which, by definition, means “of great significance or value” or “having a high rank or status”. So, it’s about ranking and status. And giving due regard in the circumstances.

How then does this play out? For the man who believes in God, his order of priorities may look something like this: God (spiritual) first; Family (emotional) second; Church (emotional) third; Work and Financial (physical) fourth; Exercise (physical) fifth; Continuous Development (intellectual) sixth; and Friends (emotional) seventh. Everything else following in some sort of order. For the man that doesn’t believe in God, his order of priorities may look something like this: Family (emotional) first; Work (intellectual) second; Financial (physical) third; Exercise (physical) fourth; Friends (emotional) fifth; and Continuous Development (intellectual) sixth. And so on. The order will always depend on the person, based on what he or she values as more important across the basket of differing and/or competing factors and elements. But the key here is that the list of priorities should be easily identifiable, objectively, from the person’s behaviour. Because it’s one thing to list your priorities and speak of them with great confidence. But completely another to live those priorities and establish a pattern in your life that communicates who you are at the core when it comes to those matters without having to say anything. Because all too often, we speak too much and act too little. Professing lives we don’t actually live or observe. And many things are breaking because they’ve not been given the attention they require. Marriages, children, careers, health, mental wellbeing, and so forth. And many are off centre.

When things aren’t working in one or more areas, it’s a clear indication that the person isn’t balanced. Because the proof of balance is that everything’s working. That you’re able to keep it all together, despite the stretching, tugging, and pulling between the various factors and elements. And this, friends, is where priorities become most relevant. Because imbalances usually creep when priorities are neglected (although this isn’t the only reason). But, there’s just a way the inadequate management of priorities tends to mess everything up! You’ve heard the saying: “Happy wife, happy life”!

If you identify certain things as more important or valuable to you than others, then it should be clear just by judging your behaviour that these are your priorities. You may have to work 15-hour days for a continuous period of 2 months because of the requirements of the job in that particular season. But if you say family is your priority, if they’re left wanting and feeling inferior in importance to your job, then there’s something you’re not doing to affirm their value irrespective of your work obligations. Because priorities are not only defined by how much time is allocated to that thing. While this is telling, other factors should be assessed before conclusively judging the matter. From how you relate with your family; how you allocate the available time to them; how you behave when your work demands lessen; the reassurance that you continually provide your family with during these seasons; and so on. If you say family comes first, arguably even those around you should know this. Simply by your consistency in communicating and reflecting the same in all your dealings, whether or not your family is present.

If you say God comes first in your life, then the same applies. Either you look and sound like God actually comes first, or you don’t. Perhaps you speak it and are good at acting it, but if He’s not your priority, your behaviour will tell that story. And the relationship and results (or lack thereof) of a person in fellowship with God will be evident upon your life. If you honour your marriage with the commitment you speak, then the same will be obvious to the world in which you function. Whether or not your spouse is present. And the same should be clear to your spouse too.

I could go on. My point is this. All too often, we’re full of excuses around what has not been treated with the value or importance it deserves. Not because of the differing and/or competing factors and elements in our baskets (which are many). But simply because we’ve not made the deliberate choice to identify and live out priorities within these baskets. “The job demands it”. “We need the money”. “I work hard and need the time to myself”. “My friends need me”. “My mom is my best friend”. “I love God”. And so on. Spilling excuse after excuse because we’re not fulfilling our responsibilities in one or more areas as we should. But here’s the thing. We’re without excuse. It’s actually possible to do it all successfully. And while doing it all, to manage priorities appropriately. Thereby ensuring that balance is maintained. Because without due attention given to one’s priorities, some things will break and won’t work as they should, causing the person to become imbalanced in certain respects.

I wonder. Is the reason things aren’t working in your life simply because you’ve neglected your priorities? Are you deliberate in living a balanced life? If you’re the one who’s always giving excuses and hiding behind everyone and everything without looking to the man in the mirror, then this blog is for you. It’s time to quit running and face yourself. Maturity comes with responsibility. And responsibility comes with diligent and prudent commitment and application of the things that count the most. If you manage yourself as you should, everything around you will work as it should. You’re the moving target. So, if some things are broken, just fix yourself.

I do many things. I’m a Mother, Daughter, Sibling and Friend. An Attorney, Baker and Author. I head up the Legal & Secretarial Department of an investment holding company. I serve on many Boards. I’m a Blogger. I run my own business. And I’m Christian. And I intend to do even more going forward. While I don’t profess to be perfect or intend to use myself as the example of success, my point is this. I deliberately find time for it all. And apply my mind to it every day. And on honest observation, I’m pretty successful and growing every day. Have I mastered it? Not yet. But mastery is a journey taken one day at a time. I know what my priorities are, and am deliberate about attending to them as I should. But more importantly, those around me are also clear what my priorities are. Moreover, I continuously examine myself to judge whether things are truly under control in every area of my life. Because let’s face it, many live feigned realities of themselves. Believing that they have everything under control. Yet by just one look at them, it’s clear this isn’t the case.

Ultimately, I believe this is all life demands from us. That we do our best with a deliberate focus, intent, and commitment. And live lives that are without excuse no matter the circumstances. After all, we’re not victims. But managers of our own destinies. And where we end up will be directly translated from the individual journeys taken and decisions made along the way. There are no coincidences. Neither are there any mistakes. Just a little too much of the blame game for our own deficiencies.

Yours in baking,

Chi

A word often spoken in the context of many aspects. But arguably based on a flawed interpretation. By this I mean, a consistent rhetoric has developed regarding what it means to be balanced, and men are sub-consciously attuned to this one-dimensional line of thought and applying the associated vision to judge and define behaviours. Let’s explore this further.

Consider the work, life balance debate. It’s widely accepted that men work to live. That without working, one can’t make a living and therefore survive. So, that’s exactly what men do. They work. And most, very hard. An integral and crucial part in the circle of life. However, the idea of balance between work and life in general has become increasingly topical, especially in the advent of Covid-19; where one of the major realisations across the world was that life should be more balanced. With the pandemic exposing the scales in many lives to be tipped heavily in favour of work; lesser attention paid to family, leisure, spiritual growth, exercise, etc. Yet how the world looked on in disbelief as this didn’t count for much when millions were literally dying by the day. Leaving behind the very jobs in which they were mostly invested.

Interestingly, the work, life balance debate is also spoken of in the context of male versus female professionals. Where females, as mothers and home makers, seek recognition between work and responsibilities in the home. The argument being that women must be given the opportunity to be home makers without negatively impacting their career aspirations. An unspoken risk. However, I believe this argument is an example of the flaw in interpretation I alluded to earlier. Because if we understood balance the way we should, we’d know how to navigate the issue to our advantage. But pin this thought for a moment.

Mental health issues have come to the fore in recent times. With suicide increasing at an alarming rate; currently classified as the fourth leading cause of death among 15 to 29-year-olds across the world. Studies show that more and more people are dealing with severe mental health issues that cannot be fully articulated, since their cause cannot be easily identified; neither can their cure be readily established. It doesn’t help that Covid-19 forced millions across the world to isolate for over two years; some doing this completely solo. So, certain instabilities, imbalances and even madnesses are emerging in people all over the world. And an increasing number are suffering from emotional and mental breakdowns. Social workers are currently one of the most widely demanded professions in the world today, with countries like the United Kingdom and the United States of America recruiting from as far as Africa, offering enticing packages that include the relocation of entire families, simply because of the shortage of skills relative to the increasing demand.

A recent study by the University of Witwatersrand in South Africa found that mental health issues are endemic in the country (i.e., here to stay), with South Africans suffering higher rates of probable depression and anxiety than other countries. Yet most cases remain untreated. So, all these people are walking around yet struggling with this silent killer. The United Nations foresaw this emerging world conversation when it included mental illness as one of the sustainable development goals in 2015 (the 17 calls to action identified as necessary to transform the world by 2030).

Now, I hold a different view on the issue of working to make a living. In fact, I’m of the strong opinion that men shouldn’t work to live, but rather live to work. That working is a rite of passage on earth. I believe every person should be doing something as his contribution to humanity. The man I’m referring to isn’t (neither can he be) a survivor or victim of circumstance. But one that’s in control of his destiny and able to chart a deliberate course based on where he expects to land up according to his individual part. The man who works to live can only be a survivor. Because his hands are literally cuffed by how much he’s able to achieve subject to what is available to him amongst the many. It’s a fight for space; and he’s a recipient of life’s circumstances. In my view, the idea of balance will inevitably play out differently for both.

So, let’s start by unpacking what balance is. The Oxford Dictionary defines balance as “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady”. Another interpretation is “a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions”. Interestingly, balance is also defined in relation to specific areas. For instance, balance in art or design (which refers to a distribution of the visual weight of objects, colours, texture and space), in sport (which refers to the ability to stay upright or stay in control of body movement), and in photography (dealing with a composition technique that arranges elements within the frame to achieve equal visual weight across the image). In all these cases, the essence comes through clearly. An equal weighting must be applied in respect of certain factors to arrive at a perfect positioning.

As some of you know, I’m a Lawyer by profession. And I believe the scales of justice provide a good visual to further enunciate this concept. Scales are weighed on either side of a judgement pole; the idea being that the scales must be equally balanced with a view to ensuring fairness in the court process. That the court hears both sides and then judges each case to eventually tip the scales in favour of one over the other. Introducing a justifiable imbalance in the place of balance through the decision adopted in the circumstances.

Now, let’s bring this home.

Balance in relation to individuals is commonly evaluated in the context of the spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual aspects of one’s life. Being the areas that it’s believed should be given due attention in order to ensure the wholeness of an individual. And thereby enhance his overall mental wellness. These categories are further sub-divided. We find things like faith and religion, under spiritual; exercise and rest, under physical; family and hobbies, under emotional; and work and study, under intellectual. The lists go on. So, if most attention is given to work, study, continuous improvement, and the like, this would indicate that the intellect is preferred over the spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of one’s life. Or so they say.

But there’s an inherent error. When the scales are tipped from the onset – one in favour of another; priorities emerge. Which goes against the equal distribution of weight that constitutes balance. And the man inadvertently functions from a place of imbalance. In dealing with the different aspects on a daily basis, while some may require more attention than others, and may take more time; this should be from the premise that the man is already upright and balanced. Because balance is about standing upright in the face of the many factors that have to be weighed against each other. Not in defining an order of priorities between them and then balancing between them. This presupposes that each area is given the required attention from time-to-time; being what is necessary to keep the flame alight.

If we don’t look at balance in this way, we’ll judge each other erroneously. And impute blame where patience and understanding are required. The prioritisation of things begs entitlement, as though one is required to handle matters on a certain basis. How then do you explain the President that remains happily married? The richest man in the world that keeps his family? A Pastor that leads a congregation of thousands across the world? They all work hard. They have to. But they’ll exercise when they can; spend time with their families when they should; and continually invest in themselves as they must. They are whole despite the fact that their usage of time does not look like that of an ordinary man.

I believe it turns on how you use the time that’s available to you to do what you must, when you must, to ensure that you’re a balanced person. Allocating sufficient time to each aspect. Not preferring one thing over another in the name of balance, or demanding recognition or acknowledgement for the various factors you have to balance. Let’s not even go there.

It’s possible to do it all. In fact, it’s possible to do it all and be happy through it all. The key’s in finding the due time for it all according to how much time is required to be invested in it all. When you do this, you’re able to make it all fit. Everything has its place. There’s a time and season for everything. And this, friends, is what a balanced person looks like.

My point is this. For whatever you have on your plate, simply purpose to use your time wisely to make it all work. And by work, I mean every area must be reconciled in peace. Happy marriage, successful career, healthy body, stable mental state, wholeness, and so forth. This doesn’t work when everything is a mess and falling apart because you’re failing to make it all fit in the time that you have. That’s clearly imbalance. If you can do this, you’ve found balance, however it may look for you. Don’t let anyone judge you. Because there’s no formula. And don’t be emotional about it either. Sometimes it’ll hurt to do what you must at the expense of another thing. But, let’s separate balance from priorities. That’s a conversation for another day.

Yours in baking (and everything else),

Chi

There’s a dichotomy I would like to explore. We live in a fast world. And the world is moving faster by the day. Innovations, technological advancements, infrastructural developments, inventions, medical solutions. You name it. We’re living in the age of ideas. Men are growing wiser and becoming unstoppable. Every day, we wake up to something new. Take a look at fashion, film, music, dance, art, and design, by way of example. It’s inconceivable to think where we’ve come from. The faces of education, law, politics, religion, science, and so on, are changing every other day. Man is breaking boundaries, disrupting perceptions, occupying spaces previously undisturbed, changing visions, and introducing new ways of everything. The world has a voice, and that voice is constantly speaking. Sending messages and whispering things. Telling us who is who, where to go, what to do, how to do it, and so forth. Everywhere we look, we’re presented with optionality. It’s no wonder, as a people, we’ve come to think fast, talk fast, work fast, eat fast and, quite frankly, do everything, fast. After all, how would one keep up except by getting into the rhythm?

But, in a world overflowing with options, the voices that guide our steps have become that much more important. Because it turns on destiny. The direction and course of your life. Where you expect to land up based on a defined path. Because the voices that speak into our lives have a bearing on this process, by embedding instructions (sub-consciously or otherwise) that set us on course in a particular direction. But here’s the thing. The world throws so many, often conflicting, view points at us, and it’s no wonder some get confused, and even consumed by it all. Unless you’re able to decipher the codes, discern what is and isn’t true, and make wise choices for yourself amidst it all; this activity, and the potential freedoms it comes with, may send you on a downward trajectory.

Now, many believe this activity is positive. Because it represents growth and advancement. Things most aspire for. Hence the tendency to align oneself with the direction in which the voice speaks. Such that, just as the world appears to be going somewhere, so will you. Flowing with the tide, in a sense. But let’s pull back and consider the reality on the ground for a moment. And while it’s by no means intended to stereotype or whitewash everyone, the results are telling. Despite the so-called positive vibes in the air, many continue to struggle to make it. They can’t keep a job; they’re struggling in the family; and their attempts to do something have yielded dismal results. They’ve tried to create but can’t come up with anything unique. They’ve tried to find suitable partnerships, but don’t seem to stack up to the standard. They sell a great story about the plans they have, but when they’re alone, that story doesn’t resonate within. They’re unsettled and uncomfortable and still searching at the core. And the more they keep trying to pursue this ‘voice’, the more distant they feel from within.

Then, what usually happens is the person eventually rejects the system – by this, I mean the world and its design; or disconnects from it entirely. Because they’ve failed to make it work. The system becomes the problem and excuse to hide behind. We all know that person who just hates the world. Everything is wrong with it. Everyone is to blame for their problems. But when you listen through the rants, you find a person who can’t accept the hard truth that he’s failed to work the system. Failed to find success where many are prospering and increasing every day. Because, whether we like it or not, many are working the system successfully and flourishing.

I believe the system is primarily for our good. Yes, that’s right. That the world and its ways were designed for our success. We’re supposed to flourish and be fruitful. The works of our hands should prosper. And properly related with, the system should yield positive results for us. Now, I could pause here and engage in a deep dive on everything wrong with the system. Because, let’s face it, there are a few flaws. But what would that help, except to leave us in a negative place? Even with all its faults, there’s a wisdom in the system, and that’s the truth. And we’re supposed to make that wisdom work for us. While we may not necessarily agree with certain aspects, we must understand how the system works and know how to play in it. Because friends, this thing called life is a game. And the ones killing it are the ones who know how to play the game.

I decided a long time ago to relate with the system as a place that should work for me. As one who has the power to control and shape my own destiny; irrespective of any issues I may have with the system. This must be a deliberate choice. I’m not a victim. But neither am I a sponge. So, I don’t feed off everything the system throws at me. And that’s the secret.

Statistics show that 90% of the world’s data was produced in just the last 2 years alone. That is, 90% of all the data available in the world today became available in the last 2 years. Which means that the remaining 10% spanned over centuries. Statistics also say that this data will double in size every 2 years. Because we’re living in the age of information. But this is too much information for our consumption. Man doesn’t have the capacity to take it all in. Because beyond taking it in, one has to firstly process and understand it all. But with more information coming at you than the time that is available to do this, a crucial step in the process is missed, and this is affecting the destinies of many across the world. Men are just absorbing everything that comes their way as truth. And it’s taking them in all kinds of direction that even they no longer understand.

I always say. It’s a privilege to be alive at a time such as this. It’s a privilege to be inspired to do and be more by everything that is happening in the world today. But you must find time to be still in it all. Except you pull away every so often, you’ll be pulled in all kinds of ways. You must know how to relate with all the activity. Otherwise, what was meant to be a blessing may actually become a curse. And work against you.

This is why competition persists in the world. Too many continue to define themselves by what the world is serving, forgetting that they are unique beings with their own, individual imprints, whose vibrations are not necessarily in sync with the synchronicities the world offers. Men are fighting for defined spaces, because the system has produced blueprints of success, and a battle has ensued for the limited room at the top.

You must learn to be still. Which sounds absurd when compared with all the movement. But, if you don’t find moments to be still and check in, you’ll easily be swept away. You must find time to meditate. To dissect, distil, digest and contemplate the information coming at you. It is by so doing that you’ll be able to define your own space, on the basis of principles and patterns that guide you as an individual. As you run your own course in shaping your own destiny, you must do so in your own way. While the world should motivate you to do and be more, be careful of doing it the way the world demands. Not everything spoken out there is for your personal consumption or benefit. You’re not supposed to agree with or follow every voice that speaks to you, even if it comes in a trusted form or bears the appearance of wisdom. You should not be taken by everything you hear and see. Not everything that motivates and encourages is true. Arguably, that’s immaturity. Because you must be able to sift through the noise.

As you master the art of stillness – becoming slower, stopping, and quietly processing it all – you’ll gain the clarity and perspective you need to define your own milestones. You’ll know what is for you and what is not. With the full appreciation that simply because something is available to you and accessible for you, this doesn’t automatically translate to being beneficial for you or expedient in the course of your life. Sometimes, you must walk away from or close your eyes to certain things.

Well, that’s what we’re doing. And we use this blog as an opportunity to be still. To pause and reflect on more than just caking. To examine ourselves and our trade. Who we are in this space and the mark we intend to make. There’s a lot out there. But it’s not all for us. And we must be disciplined and discerning, lest we’re swept away from our unique vision and lose ourselves in the process of becoming.

Yours in baking,

Chi

Compliments of the New Year! Congratulations on making it to 2023. The fact you did is all the proof you need that this is your year! Because you’re here. Which, sadly, some aren’t. And we don’t take it for granted. So, despite whatever challenges you may be facing right now, you still have air in your lungs, a beating heart, and over 330 days to turn things around. My prayer is that 2023 will be your best year yet. The beginning of many greater beginnings. May it be healthy, prosperous, and fruitful. And may you walk in the reality of all your dreams.

I’ve been meditating on how to kick off our conversations for 2023. You know how it goes. With a new year, many are about throwing out the old, and bringing in the new. We know the rhetoric all too well. We hear about lists of resolutions and goals. Folks spend entire days drawing up vision boards. And they look inviting. We see a lot of activity in the direction of change. Less of this, more of this, none of this, and so on. And it’s all great. But I’d like to engage you in a different conversation. Shifting away from this sort of language to a bigger picture. From what we hope to achieve and everything we intend to do to ensure it. To whom we’re becoming in the process. Who are you? Because let’s face it. Time is passing and age is creeping. And every year, we seem to start strong. But, when you judge the big picture, what story is told? Are you better for the goal setting? And are you aptly positioned for more growth?

My inspiration for this blog came from a sermon preached by my Pastor recently. Which, interestingly, also deeply touched my son and inspired his first Upper IV English speech for 2023, in which he discusses ‘The Evolution of Film’. Listening to him rehearse the speech, he definitely understood the message. The title of the sermon being, ‘The Power to Evolve’. In summary, Pastor explained that without evolving and adapting to a changing world, you die. Perhaps not physically, from the onset. But day-by-day, you enter a cycle of decay and destruction. And unless you do something about it, ultimately death. That business will die, your relationships will end, that ministry will shrink, and so forth. He explained how one becomes irrelevant when one fails to adapt to the ‘greater glories’ that come with new seasons. Some, because they miss out entirely on what’s happening. They don’t see that change has come and by the time they catch up, it’s too late. And others, because they’re stuck in seasons past and fail to break into the spaces they must occupy in order to progress to the new. We get it. Change can be daunting and overwhelming. But if it leaves you behind, you’re worse off.

He also highlighted a powerful thought. How the earth is constantly moving. Firstly, at a general speed of approximately 660m per second (about 1000 miles per hour). And then, around the sun at a speed of approximately 30km per second (about 67 000 miles per hour). Which means that even the ground we’re standing on is not static. Yet we don’t feel any of this power. His point being that since the earth is a force and source of movement, then so should we be. Moving and advancing with the same, or arguably even greater, intensity, speed, and frequency. Because this is how the world was designed to function. To move; progress; and advance. Bringing all things new and better with its evolution.

So, let’s get into this. The Oxford Dictionary defines ‘Evolve’ as to develop gradually. Being to alter, grow, transform, expand, extend, spread, mature and progress. Converting into a greater and better version; one that is improved and more glorious.

Here’s the thing. Men have mastered the game of change. Or rather, pursuing processes aimed at bringing about change. Man understands the importance of setting goals and actively pursuing them. In addition, available to man are numerous resources, thought leaders, coaches, learnerships, etc; all designed to assist with the process of change. Man is inspired all around to become the change he wants to see. And year-on-year, man uses the opportunity of a new year to leave behind that which didn’t work and to focus on that which is believed to yield positive results.

Yet, insufficient attention is placed on the results. After all, the proof is in the fruit. That is, whether the change has been for better. Too often, we minimise past failures. “It didn’t work out, but it’s ok. I’ll try again”. Other times, we’re simply indifferent. After all, motivational teachings have convinced us that if you don’t win, you learn. That there’s no such thing as failure but an opportunity to do things differently. And perhaps it wasn’t even for you. Because what’s yours won’t miss you. I disagree. While all of this can be true depending on the circumstances; we would need to look at those closely. I appreciate the need to put a positive spin on failure. But before we even go there (and I would still need a whole other conversation when we get there), we must firstly unpack why you failed. In truth. What went wrong? If you had done things differently, would you still have failed? Was it really ordained for your to fail? Sometimes men too easily write off these experiences and then simply start over. Without taking a moment to ascertain whom they’re becoming through all of the movement.

Which begs the question that is the focus of this blog. Are you evolving? Because if you’re not, despite all of the activity, you’re actually on a downward trend. Let me explain further. Growth is an interesting thing. We grow in stages. But learn in phases. Some mistakenly assume that passage to the next phase is growth to the next stage. And others, that they can grow to the next stage without going through the learnings provided at lower phases. And then there are many variations between the two. But except we focus less on the process of change, and more on the stages and phases that one needs to go through in the process of change, you may find that the changes made actually yield negative results. And instead of evolving and growing into an improved and better version of yourself, you’re falling in the opposite direction.

This is what I want to say at the beginning of 2023. Incidentally, it’s such a great time to be alive. We’ve lived through the Covid-19 pandemic and learnt to function in many new ways we never thought possible. At the same time, the world is evolving at an unbelievable rate. Consider the talk around ChatGP and the predictions about the future. Artificial Intelligence has become more real a reality than ever before. Innovation, creation, and technology are advancing in leaps and bounds. Science is breaking into greater realms, and we can only expect more incredible results to come out of laboratories going forward. The things that man is doing with his bare hands and his mind are simply amazing. And our children are growing up in a generation we never imagined possible. My point is this. With all the activity and movement in the world today, it’s no longer enough just to change. To set goals and wake up every day in the pursuit of them. Because even that change can be negative. We’re out of time to be trying and failing. To be figuring it out by trial and error. We must be evolving. At least at the same rate as the world in which we live. Although I would personally argue, even faster.

So, ask yourself. Are you becoming a better person; son; daughter; spouse; colleague; business partner; or friend? Or have you fallen into a rut. Repeating the same cycles with the same results. You’ve heard it said; stupidity is doing the same thing yet expecting different results.

You’re exercising every day, but just looking at your lifestyle tells a different story. You go to work every day, but you make it so hard for your colleagues to work with you by your mean-spirited temperament that keeps getting worse. You want the picture-perfect family, but aren’t present in the home. You speak a good story about change, but display something completely different by your behaviours. You’re unemployed, still living at home with your parents and looking for a job; yet you binge watch Netflix on a daily basis. And everything around you is dying. You’re losing friends. But you’ve convinced yourself that they were seasonal relationships and that the loss is in your favour. Your business is sinking. But you argue that the story would be different if Eskom stopped loadshedding. You can’t keep a job. But that’s because your boss is too tough. You had enough of the crime and relocated for a better life, but now you’re suffering even more than you did back home. You can’t even keep your cell phone. You lose your belongings every other day. Sometimes they’re stolen; other times you forget them somewhere; and in some instances, you don’t even know what happened. Everything around you is dying. And you don’t see it. Rather, you have many excuses justifying why you’re not evolving. You blame the Government, you blame your spouse, you blame your boss, you blame the weather – heck, the whole world is responsible. And every morning you wake up to the view of a beautifully crafted vision board that you believe will come to manifestation.

The world is advancing while you’re sleeping. And if you’re not careful, you’ll be left behind. Quit the empty goal setting. Take a minute and examine yourself. And be specific and deliberate about the changes you must make in order to evolve and become the person you need to be.

Change isn’t always growth. It can be negative. And if you’re not evolving. You’re actually dying slowly. And that’s the truth. You should be better today than you were yesterday. Bigger, stronger, wiser, richer – the list goes on. Your path should be from glory to glory only. If this is not your experience. Then you’re your own biggest problem. It’s time to look in.

When it’s all said and done, it’s not how you start, or what goes on in the middle, that matters most. But how you finish. So, be not discouraged. And, feel not judged. We’re all on a journey. You still have time. It’s not over yet. Just use it wisely.

To the evolution of caking!

Yours in baking,

Chi