It’s a new month, which means about that time to catch up again! How I look forward to these blogs. I’ve found that topics in previous months often weave through the months ahead; informing many personal experiences. As if somehow connecting the dots along the way. And this is my hope for you too. That these blogs not only provide a ‘good’, short read, but also stir deeper conversations within as you chart your respective courses in life. After all, we’re not just talking about cakes. We touch on various meaningful topics though the fanciful platform provided by caking; dealing with thought provoking and destiny defining matters. Issues that impact our daily living and require a focused attention in this journey called life!
This month’s topic was inspired by my recent interactions with a father who placed an order for a 7th birthday cake for his daughter. He dropped a text with a simple instruction. Explaining that after probing the birthday girl for guidance on her dream design, her response had been simple. A plain cake saying happy birthday. No frills. Chocolate cake combined with vanilla cake. And that was it.
As I sat down to finalise the order based on his clear brief, it wasn’t enough for me. For sure, we do simple, plain cakes round the clock. And could’ve easily reproduced one of those for his princess. But I felt that there was more in her request. Or rather, that we could do more with what she was asking.
As I pondered on it, I recalled a conversation with my teenage daughter a few months back. Where she brought me up to speed with a growing trend and favourite theme amongst her age group – minimalistic, aesthetic cake designs. In fact, she spotted one such design when scrolling through our Instagram page, and pointed this out to me. I don’t know whether I should even be admitting this publicly, but I had actually never heard of it at the time. Yes, we had done the cake, and perfectly so, might I add. But it didn’t mean more than a well reproduced photo, to me; of which we do many on a daily basis. Nevertheless, I not only listened to my daughter. I heard her too. After all, the children of today tend to know a lot more than we do about many things, thanks to the ever-evolving world in which we live. Which is a good thing. So, I immediately researched the concept. And lo and behold, I found a wide range of articles and imagery. And now speak of these things as if I’m an expert. Thanks, my child!
I thought to myself. This little girl must be thinking about a minimalistic, aesthetic cake design. So, I searched out a couple of images that I felt she could like, as points of reference for her to choose from, in the hope of further guiding her thought process, and quickly sent them to her father. Later that evening, he reverted saying that while she hadn’t chosen any of the images I had selected; she had, with the help of her parents, searched the internet for more images and found her chosen minimalistic, aesthetic cake design. And voila! We were presented with a plain and simple design, just as she had expressed from the onset, but this time with a lot more pzazz and personality to it.
Now, you must understand something. For us, it’s so much more rewarding to hit the nail on the head with your desired cake creations, than for us to produce a beautiful cake that quite doesn’t excite you. Every other day we witness some customers literally screaming with joy when they collect their cakes from the shop, and nothing makes us happier. Our promise is to always hear you firstly and then apply our best efforts to produce your vision in a cake! And the more information we have to inform this creative process, the more we’re able to meet and hopefully even exceed expectations.
I thought to myself. This 7-year-old girl always knew what she wanted. And clearly so. She just didn’t have the speech to articulate her vision. She carried the language and understood it at her core. But she lacked the words to communicate it. Perhaps she had consciously or sub-consciously seen such a cake before; or perhaps she had drawn the picture in her heart from scratch without any physical point of reference; or otherwise. Whichever the case, she carried the vision. But what she needed was the patience and guidance of her parents to draw it out of her and help her make it a manifested reality.
I just had to blog about this whole experience!
Just last month, we opened up a conversation titled Language, which spoke about the need to align the language we carry within us with the speech that we have available to us; as one of the fundamental aspects of communicating any personal vision. On the premise that we each possess a unique language based on the individual visions we carry in our hearts. Whether we were born with these; or whether they were imparted to us through life’s many experiences; or whether we taught ourselves into these spaces. The view being that we each carry a distinct language and voice in our hearts. And what we each need do is to give meaning to these voices. And by meaning, I’m saying we need the ability to communicate the distinct messages we carry to the rest of the world. Because in a world of many voices: opinions; theories; ideologies; languages and so on, which oftentimes conflict with the voices within; one can struggle to find the words to fully articulate these personal experiences. That is, one fails to grasp the speech necessary to express what only you heard. So, without aligning one’s language with the necessary speech, all from within, it’s possible to live and die without ever fully manifesting one’s personal vision.
I’ve said in a previous blog discussing Purpose that I believe we’re each on this earth with a unique purpose – voice and imprint within us. One that may only be manifested into creation from the self. And while there are many aspects to connecting with purpose, one of these turns on finding the speech to communicate one’s vision. Because without the speech, your voice will just be one of many. Without distinction or signification. And you’ll struggle to bring to life that thing which only you carry, by the power of you. I can’t overstate how important it is to align the language in your heart with your speech. A disconnect between the two is one of the reasons why many function outside of purpose. And are still searching for something they aren’t able to explain. But they know something’s missing from deep within. They just don’t know what it is.
But the focus of today’s blog is our children. And I’m speaking to us, the parents. We must learn to let our children be. Simple words so easily accepted; yet not often upheld in truth. Think about it. If you can accept that men are spirit beings; this means that their inner selves are timeless – complete and developed from day one. As a result, age is only a number that applies to one’s physical form. To the human nature of your being. What am I saying? Babies are only babies physically. They have to undergo a process of growth and development which helps them become increasingly independent. Learning to walk, talk, dance and laugh. To eat, play, read and do sport, etc. It’s through these processes that they become more intelligent, capable, thoughtful, articulate and so on. But, at every stage of development, it takes them finding the speech to communicate the language they already carry in their spirits.
Think about it. We don’t teach babies how to walk. They start walking when they are ready. We don’t teach babies how to eat solids. They know how to eat solids when its time. They get these things right the first time they do them right. We may assist and guide them by our teachings. But they read all by themselves when they’re ready to. We don’t read for them.
You’re wondering where I’m going with this. I’ll explain further. Man’s spirit being is fully formed from the beginning. That part of man carries a distinct voice with a unique meaning that is specific to the person. As a child learns to become more, physically, he’s able to increasingly tap into the source that is already available from within to make him. But this is where we, as parents, need to be very careful. Because it’s possible that through our physical stimulation and participation; we may inadvertently define who our children are from without them. Having no regard or bearing to the voices they carry within, and who they already are within. In some cases, voices which they don’t have the speech to communicate and give meaning to, simply because they’re still growing into the ways of the world. And so, like open books, we’re able to paint them in whichever direction we would like them to go. In some cases, this extends to the unspoken things, where the environments that children are raised in unintentionally have a significant bearing on who they ultimately become.
We need to exercise due patience and self-control in helping our children draw from within. Simply because sometimes they actually don’t know how to say what they know and want to. Instead, sometimes we tell them what to say and how to say it. And because they look up to us. They become it. To please us or to be accepted or even just to fit in. Circle back to my blog on Education. Essentially moulding our children from without. And making them who we want them to be. Because we think that’s who they have to be.
This little girl said she wanted a plain, simple cake. That was the sum of the speech available to her in that moment. We could have given her a usual plain, simple cake. And she would have accepted it. And possibly even liked it too. But that’s still not what she wanted. She wanted a plain, simple cake that looked like the photo she finally chose for herself. But she needed help to articulate her vision. Had her parents not been attentive to hear what she was saying, we would’ve missed the whole moment. Because, let’s face it, sometimes as parents, we give them what we think they want. Or maybe even what we want for them. In this case, we’re talking about a birthday cake. But I’m wondering. Who became a Doctor when they were born to be the next President? Who is running a major conglomerate today when his glory was meant to be found in operating the top restaurant chain across the world? And his hidden passion for cooking tells this story on a daily basis. Who is teaching in a varsity somewhere when he was born to find the cure for cancer in a laboratory, simply because he carries the intellectual capacity to figure it out? But mom and dad didn’t think experiments could build a sustainable future for him. And now, all these children missed their true calling. And nobody has a clue. Not even the child.
I will say it again. The system is designed and weighted towards making children become from without. And that’s exactly what they’re doing. They’re becoming everything this world expects them to be and demands of them. And while many are doing some really incredible things, that’s still inferior to purpose and fulfilling the unique assignment and vision on one’s life.
Let’s learn a thing or two from this 7-year-old girl! There’s so much more in our children than we give them credit for. Oftentimes, we’re too busy parenting and spend too little time listening. And sometimes even when we listen, we don’t hear them. We must let our children be. Let them choose their cakes, even if you don’t like them. Let them decide what kind of birthday party they want to have, even if it makes no sense to you. Let them pick their own clothes, even if they look all kinds of ways. Let them choose how they want to express themselves, even if it makes you uncomfortable. If we don’t do this, we may shut their precious voices early and never help them become who they were born to be. Of course, this thing needs balance. I’m not promoting disobedience and disorder in the name of letting the children be. Far from it! Keep a necessary grip on things, so the message doesn’t become a mess! But we must accept that inherent in the wisdom that our children carry, even in their young age, is a key to life that only they can find to open the door to a way that only they can walk. A vision that only they can articulate when they find the speech to express themselves. Ours is simply to help them to get there. Not to take them there. So, in order to enable this, we need to flow with them a little more. Allowing them to go and grow the process.
Friends. We don’t get a second try at life. We have just one chance. We must allow our children to become who they were born to be. Because the world is better for this. Children are the future. Where they go, the world follows. Let them be!
Yours in baking,